letter to Juan Kim

oh, what I said about "real Jesus" was the same stuff we talked about.. 

information about Jesus given by John Piper and etc.. was not my Jesus although, it gave me a good guideline (like a manual) 

but I still wanted to meet Jesus on my own, (well, by his grace and love) 

my personal and intimate relationship with Him was the one I lacked seriously.. 

it always deceives me that I think I know this part.. I think I have a relationship with Him sincerely 

but I don't.. I know and it's not something I want to share with religious people. 

plus, it's been about a month and half passed since I came back to Korea,, 

LOTS of Churches are here.. and generally they are really religious people. to me it really bother me ... ever since I declared myself, "I will throw

away everything they educated me such and such things.. in this manner" 

I tried to stop what I used to to... without even thinking about it.. even the prayer for the meal, I've been doing it so habitually 

but people I know, they told me not all of them are wrong.. it really depends on how I apply it. 

and I agree with them. so my struggling part is.. how am I supposed to find my position ? 

I think it will take time, maybe it will take my lifetime to figure this out though, but I'm really glad 

I'm glad that I want to see Him now, as Job struggled with his faith, I want to deal with this now and the rest of my life. 

after I thought about this.. the journey me and everybody take, is not like producing same TV in the factory, 

it's great that One true God approaches in many different ways to each of us..